


Shiny, Gay and Possibly Mad (Aqours AU Future Fic)

by trashuxmerry



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, But it's okay, Crack, Everyone is a bit gay, Everything is a mess, F/F, Future Fic, Mari needs to stop, Problematic gays, Riko is still scared of dogs, more like very, pengins, save Ruby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2018-12-12 12:21:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11736942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashuxmerry/pseuds/trashuxmerry
Summary: Love Live! Sunshine! But school idols don't exist and Aqours aren't in high school. Basically a cracked up future fic.How bad can it be, living in a town where not much happens and you practically know everyone? Except maybe when the chief is out to get you, the local rich hotel owner is possibly crazy, the librarian's girlfriend is a Satanist, the police department's receptionist is too precious, the owner of the diving shop might be going insane because of a certain rich girl, the librarian lives in the 19th century, the detectives aren't exactly 'on the case' and the city girl is a bit weird.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is. H e l p. 
> 
> Welcome to idol hell ;)

It couldn't have been more of an average day in Uchiura. 

 

Well, as average it could get for Ohara Mari, the local rich girl and owner of the Ohara hotel chain. 

This meant that average for her would be like seeing a mermaid emerge from the depths of the water at the seaside town. 

So if anything, her life could never be considered 'average' in any case. 

"That Ohara girl is a whirlwind of trouble!"

"If you were trying to describe normal, Ohara-San would be the furthest thing from it."

"Mari is too goddamn hot to be average."

 

In any case, Mari was like a blizzard in August, a meteor crashing into the Earth. 

She's unpredictable, wild, free and her life was just as such. 

 

Back to to the point, Mari Ohara lived life to the fullest and today was just as such. It was a warm day; sun shining, sea clear blue, skies clear blue, Kanan clear blue. 

This all came to one thing: the perfect opportunity to go on a date with the local diving shop owner and hot bod; Kanan Matsuura. 

 

* * *

 

"Kanan! Shiny~"

 

"Mari?"

 

Well obviously it was me! Who else would be running at a MILLION miles per hour and glomping the most GORGEOUS girl in the entire world? 

 

"Kaaaaaanaaaan~ take me to the aquarium!!"

 

"Mari, I'm working today, maybe tomorrow."

This is no good! Not for me! Everything has to be PERFECTO for Mari and everything is perfect when Kanan is there!

 

"You know I'll be paying anyway! Pwetty pwease? With a mikan on top???"

There was no way she could refuse my adorable puppy eyes and MILLION DOLLAR pout! 

 

She let out a content sigh and smiled into a small and tender kiss, "okay, okay. But you'd better behave this time, I don't want to have to try and convince Dia you were only joking."

 

Oh yeah, last time we went to the aquarium I tried to release a dolphin to try dolphin surfing. Let's just say I don't need a real dolphin to do that. 

IT'S JOKE!~

 

"Of course I'll behave! Why wouldn't I? Kanan I'm always a good girl~"

 

Her laugh is too sweet; I can't ever get enough of her and she obviously feels the same about me! Why wouldn't she? I'm her one and only Shiny-sama! 

 

* * *

"Kanan! Look at the PENGIN!"

 

"Yes, Mari, it's very cute. But I'm sure it's PENGUIN not PENGIN."

 

"Yes, yes. So you say. But doesn't it remind you of someone?"

 

"No."

 

"Come on, it definitely does!"

 

"Okay then, who does it remind you of?"

 

"Ehhh... I don't know! OH WELL!"

I couldn't help but giggle at that cute face she pulled. She liked frowning and I couldn't help but smile and she couldn't help but smile back.

 

"Oh. My. God. I couldn't be any more gay."

 

"Mari, you're mental, but I love you." That laugh; that LAUGH. Oh my GOD I just wanted to kiss her senseless at this point, she's too irresistibly adorable!

 

so I did just that, to which she laughed again and proceeded to do something OUTRAGEOUS!

 

"KANAN MATSUURA! PUT ME DOWN NOW!"

 

She continued to laugh and laugh, even when I thrashed about on her shoulder. 

 

"Stop trying to reenact Shrek, we're in an aquarium."

 

"Mari, stop watching Shrek."

 

"Stop being a meanie."

 

* * *

"Mari, would you like anything from the gift shop?"

 

"Nope!~ but there's something else I'd like~" w i n k 

 

"Mari, stop we're in public!" She whispered frantically as she pulled my arms off her chest.

 

"Meanie!!!"

And so, I ran back to the aquarium with a frantic Kanan trying to follow.

 

"Mari, where are you going?!"

 

"I forgot something! I'll be back!"

I turned to look back at her and smiled and gave a curt wave as I nyoomed around the aquarium to my destination.

* * *

 

"10,000 yen and a bottle of my finest wine?"

 

"Still no!"

Surely, this would be working. I mean maybe ¥10,000 isn't that much but it's a fair deal, I'm only buying a PENGIN.

 

"Take my ¥15,000 and a free night in one of my hotel's finest suites and I can have the PENGIN for a few days. Pleeeeaaaassee!!"

 

"I'm still afraid my answer is still no, Ohara-San." Fine. This wasn't going anywhere even with my SHINY techniques! 

 

"Fine, if that is the case." We both turned to leave, as soon as he sulked off I ran back to the enclosure and used my skills to break in and grab the PENGIN and run back with the small animal in my black top. 

 

* * *

 

"Mari! Where were you?"

 

"I had a look and I found my purse!"

 

"Mari, you need to be more careful how much was in your purse?"

 

"Oh, not much, only ¥15,000."

 

Best. Spit take. Ever.

Kanan's lemonade seemed to cover the whole of the table and I cracked up and she frowned, as usual. 

 

"It's only my pocket money, Kanan, shall we go now?" I gave her my brightest smile and a hand; to which she cautiously took, giving me side-eye. 

 

"What's that in your shirt?"

 

"WHAAAAT?"

 

"Mari, did you take a penguin?"

 

"A PENGIN? NON! PREPOSTEROUS!"

 

"Mari, put it back."

 

"But Kanan, I don't have a penguin?"

 

"Mari, I can see it's head."

 

"It's a necklace."

 

"Since when could you get a moving and squawking penguin head necklace?" 

 

"Since now?"

 

"Mari..."

 

The doors flung open and guess who came charging in?

 

"MARI-SAN! PUT THE PENGUIN DOWN AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP WHERE I CAN SEE THEM, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!"

 

"OH! Dia-chan!"

 

"KANAN-SAN! YOU ARE UNDER SUSPICION OF STEALING A PENGUIN! PUT YOUR HANDS UP WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!"

 

Kanan must've had more lemonade to drink because the table was soaked once again.

 

"Is it a bird?"

 

"Is it a plane?"

 

"NO!"

 

"CHIKA AND YOU ON THE CASE!"

 

With a loud quack or a squawk, the penguin escaped from under my shirt and waddled away, only that it waddled towards Chief Kurosawa Dia. 

 

"Ne, ne, Dia-san, I think penguin-chan likes you."

 

"Shut it Takami-san."

 

"Sorry Chief."

 

* * *

 

"¥10,000 for me and Kanan?"

 

"Mari-San, it doesn't work like that."

 

"Diaaaaaaa!!! Kanan didn't do anything! It was me!"

 

"I think I realise that. Kanan-San is free to go, she left ten minutes ago."

 

"Why am I here?"

 

"Mari-San, stop your whining. I'm afraid you can't pay yourself out of this one."

 

"I'm old enough to not need my papa to collect me."

 

"I am well aware."

 

"Then why? WHY?"

 

"Because..."

 

"Because what, Dia-chan?"

 

"BECAUSE THISE TWO DETECTIVES ARE SO USELESS!"

 

"Chief! Chika and I have finished making that mikan pie, can we go now?"

 

"I asked you two to file that report!"

 

"Oh yeah about that... the penguin took it..."

 

"HOW ON EARTH?!"

 

"My, my, Dia-chan."

 

"MARI-SAN! NOW IS NOT THE TIME!"

 

"Chief! I found the file! It was in the car!"

 

"Mari-San, you may leave."

 

"THANK YOU, Dia-chan!"

 

"Now! Before I change my mind!"

 

* * *

 

So that was a not so average day in the life of Ohara Mari. 

 

It wasn't very common for her to be arrested or to take part in criminal activities, but for a penguin, she couldn't help herself, especially the way it's SHINY eyes looked longingly at her. 

 

As for Kanan, she went home and slept. She's a good and pure girl, she didn't deserve this but she loves Mari and Mari loves her so it's alright. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoshiko screams. She can't get the Marubooty. Hell ensues. Literally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back and I've had to rewrite this thanks to me being a idiot. Wow save me

"Yoshiko. You are hereby grounded."

 

The accused: 22, female and gay. Tsushima Yoshiko. Crime: nothing. Literally nothing. 

 

"Zuramaru, why do you have to be so cruel?"

 

"I'm being fair. You've skipped date night for several weeks in a row, zura."

 

"YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!"

 

"I'm not saying I am."

 

"Fine! Go read a book, I'm going to sit here and play video games!"

 

And so, just like that, Hanamaru took her pile of books and shut herself in their bedroom. 

 

"Kukuku. What Zuramaru won't know, won't hurt."

 

It only took a matter of minutes before the living room was rearranged and she had donned her cloak and black feather. 

The cloth was spread out on the ground, the pattern intricately drawn, various items placed on a myriad of points on the cloth. 

 

"Oh demon who resides in the shadows of Hell; take my offerings of strawberries, chocolate milk and the hair from the head of my Zuramaru. With the sacrifice of my privilege to leave my confines; I SUMMON YOU!"

 

The room seemed to grow darker as the candles flickered. With a chuckle, Yoshiko stood in her signature pose. 

 

A tremendous rumbling shook the room; a deep and sinister voice echoed. 

"Who dares call me?"

 

"Hey, Beelzebub, it's Yohane."

 

"Ah, Yoshiko. Calling me to destroy you on a video game again?"

 

"I TOLD YOU, ITS YOHANE!"

 

"Sure, whatever. Can we play Smash Bros?"

 

"Fine."

 

 From the centre of the cloth, a dark, shadowy figure emerged. Wearing mismatched pyjamas, he flipped onto the sofa next to Yoshiko, popping one of the strawberries in his mouth and grabbing the controller. 

"Get grounded by your mommy again, Tsushima?"

 

"Yes- SHE IS NOT MY MOTHER. SHE IS MY GIRLFRIEND!"

 

"Can't be too sure." He demon replied with a shrug, "I'm gonna kick your puny mortal ass, Yoshiko; prepare the chilli chips."

 

"Shut up, Beelzebub, it's Yohane."

 

* * *

 

After Beelzebub basically whooped poor Yoshiko's ass on Smash Bros for 20 minutes, the potato chips were gone. 

 

"Well I'm off."

 

"What?"

 

"Gotta get some more chips, be back in 10."

 

Before Yoshiko could scream in protest, he had disappeared. 

"I'm so screwed."

 

As quietly as she could, she flung a jacket and some shoes on and ran. She ran like Sonic, trying her best to run to the shop before the demon could destroy Uchiura. 

 

 

* * *

 

And so, the self proclaimed fallen angel ran like Sonic. 

 

Luckily, she hadn't caused any casualties or somehow failed to not trip up, soon enough reaching her destination. 

 

Sat outside, burning like a house on fire, Beelzebub was sat eating packets of chilli potato chips; with the sounds of people screaming and yelling at the fact that there was a demon on fire. 

 

"Yo, B."

 

Beelzebub simply nodded; his mouth too full of chips to respond.  You'd be surprised that demons actually have good manners, wow. 

 

"As the one who summoned you, I order you to leave. You've thoroughly beaten me at a video game, eaten my snacks and almost destroyed the town."

 

"Sure; let me take some more chips first."

 

"No! I HAVE TO PAY FOR ALL OF THOSE! JUST LEAVE DAMMIT!"

 

"Fine. But don't expect me to go easy on you next time we play Smash. Later, Yoshiko." And so, just like that before said woman could correct him, he was gone. Leaving not even one crumb. I tell you, these demons have MANNERS. 

 

"WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!"

 

"Chika, no! It's woOOO wooOOO!"

 

"crap."

 

* * *

 

"Why is it when something to do with flaming men stealing potato chips, it's to do with you?"

 

"It wasn't real! Kurosawa-San! Please, it was a suit! Just let me go!" So here she was. The great fallen angel, being interrogated by the police chief; not the two incompetent detectives and their dog. 

 

"Tsushima-san; this is a serious offence and you have broken many laws, of which you have broken before."

 

Yoshiko WAS confused. I mean, how do you break multiple laws and get away with it?!

 

Before Dia could say anything more, a small woman with red hair poked her head round the door and squeaked. 

"Onee-chan! PIGII! Sorry! Dia-san! Hanamaru-chan is here!"

 

"Don't you worry my little Wooby, thank you, I will get you some macaroons later." One minute stern police chief Dia was in her chair being stern and the next, she was holding the secretary, well, her sister and stroking her head like a cat.

 

"Yoshiko-chan. I can't believe you've done this, zura."

 

"IM SORRY, ZURAMARU PLEASE HELP ME!"

 

"It's alright, Ruby-chan helped Chika-San and You-San! You're free to go!"

 

"RUBY?! HOW COULD YOU HAVE DONE THIS?" Aaaaand Dia was now weeping.

 

"EEP! I'm sorry onee-chan!"

 

Dia was exasperated to say the least, but she could always forgive her precious little sister. <3

 

"It's okay, Ruby. Let's go get some macaroons."

 

"Yoshiko-chan?"

Maru looked over at her girlfriend and smiled, her gold eyes almost shining, "What do you want for pudding?"

 

Yoshiko seemed like she was almost about to cry, "Zuramaru; I would like the Marubooty, please."

 

Poor Yoshiko, she wouldn't get her Marubooty for the next century.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip in pieces Yoshiko. 1 like=1 pray
> 
> But it's okay because Yoshiko still has the choccy milk! 
> 
> Also Chika and You (and Shiitake) will get more word time I promise oops.

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone gets their own chapter so there should be more. 
> 
> I guess this came from an idea that came from a really random conversation which had something to do with a made up detective sitcom. Not like Brooklyn 99 but more like one of those really old ones which is really mental.


End file.
